The RaceDoctor's Advice

[RaceDoctor]

Through a combination of honesty and subterfuge. The
subterfuge: if the family members have no idea about
the situation, you might try engaging the relative
with a discussion about your date while you
specifically avoid mentioning their race. Speak about
their qualities that the relative is likey to define
as positive, whether it be their success potential,
big heart, good looks, family values, or whatever.
Even if you give a more complete description, make
sure you mention characteristics that the relative
will find appealing, as well as those that move you,
since your intensity will shine through. At this
point, you are installing in their minds a positive
image of a potential partner; let them assume the
person is the same race as you. This may go on for a
mintutes or even days, depending on how often you talk
to them.

Then its time to shift into honesty. At some point
after they have become attached to a positive image of
the person, you might tell them that you have worried
about telling some of your friends or other family
members, because of how you fear they might feel.
Perhaps you mention how you were always taught to see
all people as equals, and that its difficult to see
that even though you may have done that, some of the
people who taught you those values seem to have
attitudes that contradict that. Focus on not
understanding how these similingly contradictory
opinions, rather they focusing on how “wrong” these
relatives are.

Then share that you were even worried about their own
opinion,, and want to know how they feel.

At that point, you are your relative are ready to have
a real conversation. If you get confused after that,
let the RaceDoctor know.